#and i deeply appreciate them!!
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oh! while we're on the Appreciation Train and before i go to sleep! i would like to say that although i rarely respond to replies, i do see them! and i Do cherish them! thank you!
#the only reason i dont really respond#is there tends to be uhhhh a lot sometimes?#which is great! don't let me stop you!#but if i start regularly responding than that is a Lot of responding#& then if i only respond to One and leave the others then i feel really bad bc thats unfair!#and really i have my work cut out for me with asks ahaha#they take a Lot of energy to respond to (affectionately said)#i have to ration it out yk yk#i do try to respond to replies that have questions and such that i can Directly and Quickly answer!#that being said i miss some. i think. im betting that i do bc there's always something im not seeing#but i try to read them all!#and i deeply appreciate them!!#absolutely unprompted#just wanted to say this real quick#i felt like it needed to be said. did it? remains to be seen! we won't see the seen tho#okay i really need to sleep lmfao im seeing spiders and i have a feeling im quickly losing coherency#good night or good morning depending on where you are#good afternoon? i dont know!#whatever position the sun/moon is in: Good [x]!#me? going to sleep BEFORE the sun is up? its more likely than you think#wait... shit the sky is starting to lighten if i hop in bed and play corpse Right Now i can pass out before it reaches the horizon#OH ALSO I SEE COMMENTS IN TAGS AS WELL!!!#I LOVE TAGGED COMMENTS THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME!! THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT!
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Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#brennan lee mulligan#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20 fhjy#d20 fhjy#fhjy spoilers#fhjy#sklonda gukgak#sandra lynn faeth#riz gukgak#fig faeth#kristen applebees#like kristen IS a good friend and she DOES appreciate riz and fig but she is a mess#like as mothers of two deeply troubled children it makes sense they're comcerned#if my daughter the self-sacrificing ticking time bomb said she was ignoring a CURSE because she was busy with her friend's campaign???#or if my son needed me to pull over to take a nap because the SAME GIRL was stressing him out so much??#i think because we live outside the universe and love kristen it's easy to forget#kristen went from being the 'good kid' that the bad kids corrupted to the bad influence that worries their mothers#thinking about ally saying that kristen this season is when chaos is no longer cute#speaking of which this scene did make me realize how little the Thistlesprings check up on gorgug#ik they're trying though so imma give them a pass#like kristen has NO proper guidance on how to enter adulthood#i GUESS jawbone but Jawbone isn't raising her so much as he is housing her#What Kristen REALLY needs is to have one singular adult want to be her parent#She doesn't HAVE a proper sandra lynn or sklonda checking in on her#she has her ex-girlfriend's uncle#if kristen had someone looking out for her we wouldn't BE in this situation
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My rendition of @tempo-takoyaki's DTIYS!
Congrats on the milestones! And to everyone else, please go check out their 'Drawing TGCF (except I haven't read the books)' series!
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#svsss#tgcf#wei wuxian#shen qingqiu#xie lian#better drawn mdzs#(Vaguely??? I think SQQ came out handsome enough to put him in my special gallery)#Showing up to submit this less than 3 days before the DTIYS ends is filling me with a bit of anxiety but it is done!#Initially I was going to do a descending level of realism/detail but noses make me nervous still. One day I'll get there.#The irony is that I was planning on drawing something to celebrate tempo finishing season 1 of their series only to find this DTIYS!#*and* it was their birthday recently. I am compelled to lift them into the air and shout their praises.#What a genuinely kind person with an art style I want to bite into like a crunchy apple!!! The *range* is incredible!#Also their xie lian is probably one of my favourite interpretations. So done with everything but not misanthropic.#Remembers everything and lets other's spin in circles with their lies for the sheer chaos of it all. Teases relentlessly. Deeply sad.#Give it a read! They are planning on continuing on so now is a great time to catch up!#Thanks for hosting this fun art challenge Tempo! We all appreciate you deeply B*)#I hope you have a better year in 2024 - you truly deserve the best.
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“Did you think that I would have black hair?” dear god I absolutely loved this scene. Jace knowing full well that he’s a bastard and that if any old bastard can claim a dragon, then what does that make him? So so so good.
#also i do appreciate this season’s commitment to showing us that even the “good” targaryens like jace and rhaenyra#are still deeply deeply classist and buy into their own hype#and also as much as i want them to be happy i’ve loved their semi-contentious relationship this season#sometimes it feels like jace is having to be the grown up in a lot of ways#like i loved all the memes about him waiting up for rhaenyra at dragonstone like a disappointed parent but they’re also kind of darkly true#rhaenyra is a good and kind and loving mother but she is also very immature#why probably depends on your interpretation of the show#but anyways seeing those frustrations come to the surface has been great#rhaenyra targaryen#jacaerys velaryon#house of the dragon#house of the dragon season 2#house of the dragon season 2 spoilers#hotd s2 spoilers#gameofthronesdaily
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Hello hello!
This is absolutely a no-pressure ask, but I was wondering if you had thoughts of making your 1816 story available for purchase whenever it is finished? I love the story so much and would be happy to purchase it if that became possible!
no pressure taken! honestly, i have not thought about this much (despite the question surfacing every once in a while), as none of the pages have been drawn or formatted in a way that took into account any sort of publishing, beyond the malleable internet pages where they live rn. perhaps one day we'll figure something out!
in the meanwhile, i dont know if collecting them to pdfs is anything? i have been entertaining that as a patreon reward, but i have not the foggiest whether that would actually be valuable to anyone (as they already exist, largely, for free on the website). i am painfully aware that would hardly satisfy the ardent wish to own beloved things in physical format, which i share in believe u me.
this probably isnt a very good answer at all, but it is all i got right now haha! to these humming and hawwing and fumbling tidings i leave thee now. oh and this frame from the upcoming comic update, because it is coming alright!
and have a great day 💖
#to everyone in my inbox who i have not responded to i want u to know i have read and appreciate every kind and deeply enthusiastic word#i regularly go back in and reread them 💖
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Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D
I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.
Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.
I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!
I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.
I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer
I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.
So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3
#I'm not leaving the fandom btw! Just realized it kinda sounds like I will but I won't!#Still got my fem versions and some animations to spice things up in case I feel less inclined to draw my resident skeles lol#To the people that reached out before this thank you SO much!!!#I know this is not gonna reach many people considering my leave but i deeply appreciate it<3#I wouldn't be surprised if people forgot why they even followed me in the first place with how long I've left this time Hhhh#There's some plans about commissions as well cause no matter how many times I fix this poor pc it keeps failing me lmao#And I wanna try my hand at it to feel less pressured and dependent on my academics :')#It's a scary thought and an even scarier process and idk if you guys will be interested? but that's for another post ig >:)c#muah muah ily all thanks for EVERYTHING cause I'd restart this blog all anew if I didn't have so many people that I'd miss around here >:'D#blah blah Yuri is back on her bs so get ready for some banger art!!#To any mutual reading this pleaaaase bear with me if I don't reblog your art immediately#cause I've been tagged on a few and I wanna give them five tags each at minimum and I don't know where to start HHH#If there's something specific you want me to see you're welcome to tag me In it but don't be discouraged I haven't gotten to it yet!#This is So long I'm genuinely sorry aughghg 😭
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got a request? send it here !
#hotch has a very hands-off but not neglectful approach to the team that i think they really appreciate#they all value their privacy deeply because they work with people who instinctively pick them and their actions apart#of course it doesnt always work *side-eyes reid's addiction “arc”* but#i think emily in particular appreciates this. she and hotch are very similar in that regard i think#they both prod but they never intrude. if that makes sense#emily & hotch#character analysis#in the tags at least#criminal minds#criminal minds s07e12#criminal minds 7x12#unknown subject#not fic#criminal minds rewatch#my gifs#sorry idk why emily's are so ugly :(( still figuring out New Program#aaron hotchner#emily prentiss
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✷ all of your pal spooksier's links! in one place! ✷
✷ my art tag! ✷
✷ comics ✷
✷ commission sign up! ✷
✷ patreon ✷
✷ shop ✷
✷ shirts ✷
#text!#needed a pinned post. will add onto this with commission info once i reopen them <33#shop stuff#patreon stuff#going thru a bit of financial stuff rn (nothing dire!!) so would deeply appreciate any support <3#but ik things are tough for everybody rn so no pressure :-)
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i am begging people who keep pushing the wriothesley is a father figure to the melusines/sigewinne agenda to read his lore. begging. he's not a father figure, in fact, he's like their borrowed grandkid. the melusines adopted him, not the other way around!!!
#after neuvillette's story quest and neuvillette himself being vocal about not introducing the melusines in human society out of pity but#because they're capable and letting them prove their value why would you choose to babify them??#they're old and they're very independent#they're like tiny grandmas#maybe i'm being petty but am i really??? 😭#i just think it's stupid that there's so much focus in not infantilising them for sigewinne to be made wriolette's kid in every piece of#fan content for commodity#she's not a baby she's the head nurse she's incredibly capable and she took care of wriothesley since he was a teen in the fortress#he just deeply respects them and retributes the kindness that probably saved his life now that he has means to do so#if anything they're friends really#their relationship is also so much nicer and more meaningful this way without any sort of power imbalance#i wish people could appreciate that too#anyways sorry for being petty on main#also sorry for posting about wriothesley again shsjshs
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"Dog, they're adults. They can take it.... they think they're ready for round one... Pay these mortals the respect of going to war with them."
-Brennan Lee Mulligan, on behalf of the Raven Queen
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#4sd#probably where i fall out!#they're big kids now and they are going to try to hit you as hard as you hit them#it's still a deeply messed up moment for everyone involved#horrors and moral compromise abounding#but the mages of aeor do not appreciate being condescended
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Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.
Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)
Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!
For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^
#ask#clotho answers#edit/final note: we got a *few* asks on this subject and will not likely answer all of them for the sake of our followers' dashboards#but we also want to note that part of our encouragements here come from the fact that Flan/Keagan are our most popular characters by a lot#and we want to do what we can to gently nudge folks who may not want to romance the fem / nb characters into checking out their stories#despite not being into them romantically. this is half of why we have platonic routes to begin with#we recognize veterans to the dating sim world may feel less inclined to romance characters that don't align with their irl orientations#this isn't a bad thing. some people steer clear of dating sims altogether because they're aro or just not interested in romance stories etc#but the unintentional side effect of this is it has a chilling effect on developers even in the indie sphere to make less diverse stories#if Flan and Keagan are our most popular characters then they will be our most *profitable* characters in the long run#and as much as we would love to not care about money and just produce the story we want to tell#we live in a society (tm) and need to eat#if at the end of ndm's development we see that 90% of our engagement went toward the boys it is hard to ignore the financial incentive#to redirect our energy toward leaning into the 'tried and true' formula that assures we can buy groceries and make rent#basically what i am candidly saying here is capitalism is pretty bad for creative liberty unless you're already rich / able to self finance#which we are not. and currently none of the core devs make *anything* from ndm#it would be nice if it does turn a profit but that isn't a guarantee - which the team has accepted as a normal risk in game development#anyway this is getting rambly but the Point is that this goes beyond us wanting to make sure all sides of our story are equally appreciated#it is *partly* that - we do want players to experience the entirety of our artwork#but it's not just for our egos - it's so we can keep making art like this#i considered including this in the body of the post but money talk suuucks man#and i don't want anyone to think we're glaring at them in a holier than thou 'ah-ha! you don't want to play maeve's route because she's a#woman!' sort of way because i think that's a reductive way to look at things#people like what they like and there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that#but if you like that we're making a diverse story#with masc routes fem routes and nb routes#even if you don't personally want to romance x or y#it would help us if y'all play the platonic routes#we are trying our very very best to make the fem/nb routes interesting for Everyone so those stories don't get sidelined#and if you don't like them for their own sake - fair enough! can't win em all and we'll deeply appreciate that you tried anyway!
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slasher iii & slasher iv
oh geez oh boy oh god here it is. i had to strangle this thing out of my brain and she came out kicking and screaming. unedited, just some fun slasher iii & slasher iv content on this saturday evening. this is... something
there's a good bit of triggers in here, please proceed with caution.
1.15k words
The two of them are just hardcore horror fans, right? They've seen all the classics a million times but as they're getting older it's just not enough. III is the first one to suggest it as he turns off the television after watching the newest horror box office flop. At first, IV thought it was a joke. An outlandish suggestion to throw him off his game. That was the kind of jokester that III was. But there was no humor in his voice when he said in a sinisterly quiet voice.
"We could just do that shit ourselves."
The thought caused excitement to pulse through IV's veins as III laid out the details of his fantasy. It was almost too perfect, he thought. Their calculus professor was a piece of shit who was always too hard on the class, so he made an obvious target. He had no family, which further eased IV's conscience. They'd be doing the world a favor.
It was an experience unlike anything he'd ever experienced before, the thrill of watching the light wink out of his horrified eyes as he clawed at the masks covering their faces, watching the fight leave his body as he fell limp to the floor. He found he didn't quite mind the feeling of his blood soaked jeans clinging to his legs.
III had done most of the dirty work, but who was IV to deprive him of the joy he received from plunging the knife into his victim's stomach? They tidied. up after themselves enough to erase their presence, and waited for someone to find him.
The discovery of the beloved professor’s body the next day came as a shock to the whole community, leaving the town a worried mess. Things only got worse as III and IV selected their next target. She was a young woman, engaged to be married, known for babysitting just about every kid in town– the two of them included. IV’s stomach soured at the thought, but the grin on III’s face stirred his excitement enough to quell his conscience.
“Don’t worry mate, she’ll be perfect.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder and pulled him into his pickup truck, the bed loaded with enough hunting knives to butcher a stampede.
And perfect she was. They managed to slip into the garage undetected, slinking through the darkened hallways towards the illumination and chatter of the television in the living room. She had nodded off on the couch, her head tilted back and nestled into the corner, surrounded by blankets and pillows. III gave him a silent nod and IV walked around behind her, wrapping an arm around her neck and clamping his hand over her mouth. Her eyes shot open in fear, panic overtaking her body as her eyes raked down every intimidating inch of III as he knelt in front of her, sliding a knife out of his boot.
IV could feel her gnashing at the flesh of his palm, and simply pressed the crook of his elbow further into her jugular. He could feel her resolve dwindling as she thrashed against his hold, trying to shove III’s towering figure away from her. But III only laughed and swatted away her comparatively small hands as he began tracing the tip of his blade up her pajama clad leg, the twinkle in his eye indicated to IV that he was thoroughly enjoying the muffled whimpers coming from behind IV’s hand, relishing in the way that her body lurched away from him.
When IV felt his hand dampening from her tears, he audibly groaned, looking down to see her beautiful eyes squeezed shut, tears running down her cheeks. If his mask wasn’t covering his mouth he would have leaned down and licked those tears off of her perfect skin himself. But instead, he managed to catch III’s attention, nodding down to her streaming tears and III laughed evilly.
He leaned over her, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, gently caressing her cheeks as he did so, despite IV’s hands covering most of her face.
“Hey, no use for that,” III cooed. “No point of doing that at all, love.”
Her eyes opened, a bone-chilling fear shooting through her body as she saw the murderous glint in III’s eyes. The tears flowed faster, and as she tried again to break free III restrained her arms with ease, resting his body weight on top of her as he brought his knife up to her line of sight again.
“We’re going to have a lovely time, the three of us.”
She screamed from behind IV’s hand, making one last attempt to bite at him and managed to find purchase on the meat of his palm, causing him to yelp. She sank her teeth in until she could taste his blood on her tongue, but she found his grip only tightened. When she dared a glance above her, she could see his eyes shut, breathing labored, but when he looked down at her, she realized what a mistake she had made.
A mixture of her tears and IV’s blood dripped from her chin, and the sight sent a shockwave of excitement through III’s body. He was ecstatic to have a partner in all this, to get to experience his wildest fantasies with his best friend. To share this new side of him with his best friend.
“Now for the fun part.” He whispered, more to IV than to her, but the words caused her heart to sink, she felt the resolve fly from her body– there was no salvation for her. The coppery tang of his blood on her tongue that had once tasted like victory now tasted of defeat. Not only would she die at their hands, she would die with their repulsive presence invading her every sense.
III felt the familiar rush of euphoria as the blade pierced through her belly, her muffled scream like a favorite song heard on the radio. He didn’t miss the way IV’s hip pressed slightly into the couch, spreading a wide grin across his lips.
This would be the fun part, indeed.
Hours later, III laid down in his bed, resting an arm behind his head as he replayed the events of the day, that same grin still plastered on his face. He felt his eyes drifting closed, sleep ready to take his body when he heard the sound of his phone vibrating on his nightstand. His heart leaped at the sight of your name, and your sweet message.
i guess you turned in early tonight. sweet dreams, i love you <3
As he laid back down, his eyes falling shut one more time, his mind conjured up the most beautiful plan for you.
A special surprise.
#also. fair warning: i was pretty stoned when i wrote this so please forgive any errors i may have made it's the only way i could do this#my brain could have gone some insane places here but alas we have reached the limits of em's writing comfort levels.#warning: long tag rambling incoming ->#my brain has not stopped thinking about slasher iii and slasher iv being like billy and stu from scream. UNABLE to stop thinking about it#i could possibly (maybe. MAYBE) write more of this if ppl are rocking with it because FUCK!!!#thinking about the end of scream???? but with them???? i kept starting that and then starting it over until i landed here#but i could give it a whirl if it's what the People Want#but anyways! feedback is appreciated and deeply forever cherished#i like to know what people think of my ideas/writing!!!!#but on the other hand if anyone ever just wants to talk about slasher token know that i am HERE#i struggle to really write much for it just bc we're dancing around the things i'm comfortable writing but good gravy#it's everything. it's all i've thought about since iii showed himself in that new mask back in december#like SHIT!!!!#anyways rambling over here's this 🤲🏼🔪✨#sleep token iii#iii sleep token#sleep token fanfiction#slasher iii#slasher iv#slasher token#em's stcu
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first time drawing Globby's chibi design! it's on the same page as a drawing i've already posted, but I think seeing the contrast between the styles is pretty fun :]
Inspiration from one of the poses taken from @enbydemirainbowbigfoot's art in this post!
@drama-glob
#bh6 globby#globby#globby bh6#big hero 6: the series#normally im not too crazy for chibi designs#bc of the babyish proportions and the way they can sometimes sand down the interesting elements of an original design#but the Big Chibi 6 designs are growing on me... i think they're cute in a way that isn't Too Much#if that makes sense#i deeply appreciate how yucky disgusting he acts in the chibi shorts. it's everything i wanted and more#it's so fun seeing them and knowing they were made in s1#it was also interesting trying to find a middle ground between his design in the shorts and his regular design#namely trying to figure out how to get his lack-of-a-neck without making it seem awkward#since in the shorts there is a clear seam between his big bobble head and the rest of his body. but in the series it is seamless#it reminds me of how i first drew him months ago before extensive screenshot studies and practice#was fun nailing down the proportions here#anyways. that's quite a lot of yap from me o7#my art
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please don’t by k.will did more for the gays back in 2012 than any boy group can possibly do with fan service and crop tops in 2024
#do young kpoppies know about please don’t by k.will. im serious do they know#I think about it a lot#it’s impossible to replicate the feeling of being gay and watching that mv in the 2010s and just getting bodyslammed by the ending.#like he really just dropped that shit in TWENTY TWELVE#kibumblabs#to this day I think that’s the most explicitly gay mv ive seen in kpop by an established artist#(ie not holland. no shade to him but he kinda built his platform on being an openly gay artist and he’s not a big industry name or anything#which makes the impact significantly different. if that makes sense. anyway.)#like think about any other example. almost all of them can be brushed off as fan service or are at least vague enough to be#up for interpretation#please don’t’s ending is nearly fucking impossible to write off as anything but explicitly gay#no fanservice involved. no vague staring in each other’s eyes. just straight up Oh He’s Not Jealous Of His Friend He’s Jealous Of His#Friend’s Fiancé. oh#like that’s the whole point. interpreting it any other way doesn’t make sense with the impact it’s purposefully supposed to make#like seriously try to say ‘he’s just sad he’s losing his friend to marriage :(‘ or something. you have to be REAL fucking stupid or#deeply in denial to make that argument let alone believe it#anyway. I appreciate this mv a lot#k.will the OG of doomed yaoi in kpop#kill me#closest contender off the top of my head is one more day by sistar#also note I am talking about mvs here not songs in general#cause if I were talking about songs in general. key’s out there pretty much writing about gay sex at this point so I mean#k.will#kpop#only adding actual tags because I want you to watch this mv if you haven’t already
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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just feeling the insanity in my bones.....
#sorry yall#i can't stop thinking about them#and i won't stop screaming#so much to unpack#my beloved starcrossed babies#toxic codependent ship willing to die for each other can't live without the other goes deeply mad when losing the other save me SAVE MEEEEE#the funny thing is you guys i grew up with this film in the background as a kid and i devoured the soundtrack#but for some reason after having not seen it in MANY YEARS i just ??? love it so much i appreciate it MORE AS AN ADULT WOAH??#i'm gonna end up doing two more rewatches over the next month i can fucking feel it#personal#maria rambles#moulin rouge#moulin rouge 2001#satine#christian#christian x satine#otp: come what may#baz luhrmann#ewan mcgregor#nicole kidman
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